Santa Banta sms collection

Judge : Why r u arrested?
Sardar : For shopping early?
Judge : That’s not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?
Sardar : Before opening the shop...:)
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Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.

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Interviewer : what is skeleton?
Sardar : Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
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A sardarji went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.

Guess why ?

Because there it was written
“Number dial karnay se pehle do lagaye”
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SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?

FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.

SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..


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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
Because somebody had told him that
it is wrong to sleep with married women.
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A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train itne main
KHYBER MAIL aa gayi...
Sardar bhag k train mein charha aur apni wife se bola
"Jab khyber female aye to tum bhi aa jana"!!!
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Banta : O santa! Aaj meine paani ko ullu bana diya.
Santa : Wo kaise?
Banta : Aaj subah meine paani to garam kiya, lekin thande paani se naha liya!!!
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Santa to Banta : Yaar car dheere chalao.
Banta : Nahi aaj mein gaadi dheere nahi chala sakta.
Santa : Kyu?
Banta : Aaj mera fast hai!!!
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Santa long trip par jaane se pehle apne dost Banta se kehkar gaye ki
agar koi asamanya baat ho jaye to mujhe phone kar lena.
Ek week ke baad achanak banta ne santa ko phone kiya, "Santa jee, aapki
biwi ka aashiq jo aapke gaermojudagi me roj raat me aata tha, aaj nahi aaya!!!"
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Sardar ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye

Inspector bhi sardar tha bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo:

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Judge: why did u shoot ur wife, instead of shooting her lover?
Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one
man every week.

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Santa : Jab hum patakhe jalate hai to roshni pehle dikhti hai aur awaz baad me, aisa kyu?
Banta : Kyunki roshni ki speed awaz ki speed se tej hoti hai.
Santa : Nahi bewkoof, kyunki aankhe aage aur kaan peeche hote hai!!!
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Santa ki chatri me hole tha.
Kisine ussey puch liya : Santa jee! Aapki chatri me ched kyu hai?
Santa : Oye, baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega?
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Sawal : Ladkiyaan apne dupatte ko ladko ke samne aane ke baad hi kyon theek karti hai?
Jawab : Kyunki luteron ko dekhkar hi to daulat ki hifazat ka khayal aata hai
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Amitabh : Mere paas gaadi hai, bunglow hai, bank balance hai, tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi : Mere paas bhi gaadi hai, bunglow hai, bank balance hai...
Kuch der chup rehne k baad...
Amitabh : Abbey to phir maa kaha hai?
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Teacher : Baacho batao pyar aur ishq me kya fark hai?
Students : Sir, pyar wo hai jo aap apne beti se karte hai, aur ishq wo hai jo
hum aapki beti se karte hai!!
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Sardar ji says I love u to his girl friend and suddenly falls on the floor.

Girl Friend: What is this?

Sardarji: O ji, I'm falling in love!

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Pati aur Patni, dono ne apna blood group check karaya.
Patni : Aye g, mera aur aapka blood group ek kaise hai?
Pati : Peechle 20 saal se tum mera khoon jo chus rahi ho!!
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Santa : Ye joday kahan bantay hain?
Banta : Aasman per
Santa : Abe shit yar
Banta : Kya hua?
Santa : Mein to darzi ko de aaya hoon!!!
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Santa aur Jeeto me ladai ho gayi, Santa ghar se chala gaya.
Santa raat ko phone karke apne wife se pooch : Khane me kya hai?
Jeeto : Zehar.
Santa : Mein der se aaonga, tum khana kha kar so jana.
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Santa petrol pump gaya, waha usne ek board pe likha dekha "Don’t Use Mobile Here"
Usne mobile nikala aur apne sare doston ko phone kar ke kaha "Don’t Call Me Now"!!! :)
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Santa ne shauq shauq me roza rakh liya,
He asked 2 his son,
Dekh sooraj dooba?

Son : Nahi jee,

After sometime again asked,

Dekh dooba ki?
O nai jee,
Santa : Lagta hai menu le ke he doobega!!
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Driver : Sir ji, Petrol khatam hogaya hai gaadi age nahi ja sakti.
Santa : Chalo phir wapas le chalo!!!
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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.